


Goats & Dogs (and a Dragon)

by Biscuit Lion (cookiethelion)



Series: Valet Service [4]
Category: British Comedian RPF
Genre: Chinese Zodiac, Crack, Dog(s), Dragons, Implied Relationships, M/M, Master/Servant, Mild Language, Sheep & Goats, hints of slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-22
Updated: 2012-04-08
Packaged: 2017-11-02 08:59:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/367242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cookiethelion/pseuds/Biscuit%20Lion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Milton has a ladybird infestation to deal with, but he's not the only one with the same problem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by Samurottsan  
> \----
> 
> 1\. [Valet Service](http://archiveofourown.org/works/326601)  
> 2\. [Do-It-Yourself](http://archiveofourown.org/works/329398/chapters/531504)  
> 3\. [Shadow Puppets](http://archiveofourown.org/works/332687/chapters/537393)  
> 4\. [Three Of A Kind](http://archiveofourown.org/works/347835/chapters/565322)  
> 5\. **Goats & Dogs (and a Dragon)**  
> 6\. [One For The Enemy](http://archiveofourown.org/works/385254/chapters/630833)  
> 7\. [Leave In Summer...](http://archiveofourown.org/works/423707/chapters/708441)  
> 8\. [...Yet You're Here In My Fluffoughts](http://archiveofourown.org/works/456509/chapters/785402)  
> 9\. [World Is Mine](http://archiveofourown.org/works/493852)  
> 10\. [Hurting For A Very Hurtful Pain](http://archiveofourown.org/works/501077/chapters/879676)  
> \----
> 
> DISCLAIMER:  
> I own nothing except the plot and Zodiac Valet concept. This fanfiction was written purely for fun, and not for profit. Any persons written is not intended to represent the real person.

“MILTON.”

Milton hadn’t heard Humphrey scream his name like that since the water bomb incident, and as he walked into the kitchen, he only had to pass through the doorframe to see what the problem was.

Humphrey was kneeling under the sink and pointing at the pipes, where a nest of ladybirds had been established. It looked more like a spider’s web than a nest; rows of dark, tiny semi-circular bodies clung to the threads, with bodies overlapping each other to form a scaly ball. Ten or so other ladybirds were crawling around the cupboard floor, and then being forced back whenever Humphrey threatened to shut the door on them.

“Ah.”

“Don’t stand there, _do something_.”

Milton walked over to a cupboard and grabbed the insecticide, although he turned the can over first, looking for the expiry date; as far as he was aware, it had already been there when he had first arrived, and he had never been asked to use it before. He tried not to grimace as he found the date.

“Can’t use it,” he said as he pushed the pedal bin open and dropped the can in. “It’s expired.”

“Are there any more?”

“No. You only had that one.”

“Fuck.”

“I’ll get my member to sort this out,” said Milton as he prised the doors out of Humphrey’s grasp and shut them. “Until then, stay away from the sink, and kill any stray ones that escape.”

“If I’m not allowed to go near, how am I supposed to do my washing up?” said Humphrey as he followed Milton into the living room.

Milton had pushed open Humphrey’s door when he stopped and turned around. “You always leave it for me to do whenever I get back, why are you suddenly concerned?”

“I’m only asking, you don’t need to snap at me like that.”

For once, Milton said nothing, but turned around and walked into Humphrey’s room, making sure to shut the door behind him. He was wondering who to make the call to; from all his members, he had narrowed his choice down to Matthew and Davids Reed and Mitchell. It didn’t take him long to disregard Mitchell; he doubted Humphrey would be pleased if they set fire to the flat. Reed didn’t seem like a good choice either; if they poisoned the ladybirds to death, they would have to avoid the kitchen for a lengthy time, and considering that most of the flat open space, they would have to leave altogether.

It seemed, then, that Milton would have to get Matthew to drown the insects. He picked up the jar and, making contact with Matthew’s Item, told him to meet at the usual; when he finished, however, he raised an eyebrow, his eyes fixed on the pearl. He didn’t know where Matthew was or what he was doing, but he could sense that his Item was not on him; if anything, it felt like it had been left behind at home –

The doorbell rang, and Milton looked up; he could hear Humphrey answering, and he didn’t need to hear any more to realise that Matthew had come round. He wondered if he was going to make an excuse to get back to his Item; as every Valet knew, if they didn’t answer, the headache was going to grow worse until they could barely stand up.

He heard the door shut; seeing as he would have to go out, he took off his coat, shoved it under Humphrey’s duvet, and walked out of his room. Matthew had chosen to stay, and when he saw his leader, he shot a look at Milton that almost made him giggle out loud, something which he would have done if Humphrey hadn’t been there.

“Hi Matthew,” said Milton.

“Hi Milton,” said Matthew, although he was gritting his teeth somewhat as he spoke, which made Milton’s struggle harder to contain. He didn’t know why he was finding it so funny – maybe it was because of their situation, and the fact that Milton had never tried contacting a member just as they arrived without their Item.

“Are you alright?” said Humphrey.

Matthew shook his head. “Do you have any paracetamol? I’ve got a headache.” His eyes flickered to Milton as he finished.

“I think we do, don’t we?” said Milton. He tried to avoid Humphrey’s stare for fear of bursting out laughing, but he gave his master a quick glance anyway.

“Yes, and this time, I don’t think they’ve expired yet.”

“What are you –” said Matthew, now looking at Humphrey, then Milton, and back.

“I’ll show you,” said Milton. It didn’t take long for Matthew to get the message, and the two Valets walked into the kitchen. Milton fetched him the paracetamol, although he hesitated when it came to filling up the glass with water. He glanced over his shoulder and, seeing as Humphrey wasn’t paying attention to them, he turned back to Matthew, making sure to keep the sink out of sight.

“What’s the matter?” said Matthew.

“Keep your voice down,” said Milton. “Under this sink, we’ve got a ladybird infestation. That’s why I called you.”

Matthew leaned in closer. “You want me to get rid of it?”

“Yes.”

“Why me, though? You could have got either Davids –”

“I thought that as well, but you seem the better choice. I don’t want Humphrey finding out that I’ve either poisoned or set fire to the flat.”

“Hold on, how do you want me to kill them? You want me to drown them?”

“Yes. We’ve got a bucket somewhere, you can use that.” Milton handed the glass to Matthew, and then pretended to turn on the tap as his member cupped the glass, and filled it up with his own water.

“I thought we weren’t using the sink?” said Humphrey.

“How’s Matthew going to take the paracetamol? Anyway, its fine for now, nothing else has come out of the tap.”

“Anyway, isn’t there something you wanted to show me?” said Matthew. Milton moved over to the bin and, making sure their backs were still facing Humphrey, leaned in closer to his member as he flipped the lid open.

“Does it work if you … you know…?”

“No. It’s getting worse.” Matthew watched Milton take the insecticide out. “Is that out of date?”

“Yes … and that’s why I’m turning to you.”

“How do you expect me to drown the nest with Humphrey watching?”

“I didn’t ask you to come round, did I? I was going to make an excuse to get him out of the way, but seeing as you’re here…”

“What am I supposed to do? He’s not going to leave me alone in the flat, and if you disappear – argh…” Matthew winced and clutched his head; Milton dropped the can into the bin again, and turned to his member with a lot more concern than he had shown.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go back to yours? I don’t want you passing out here.” Milton had barely spoke when he felt his Item shaking; he gave Matthew a quick glance, and then rushed out of the kitchen. “Humphrey, I think I left my phone in your room.”

Pause; Milton shot a glare at his master. “Oh, right, yeah, go and … take it …”

Milton made sure to shut the door before he picked up the jar. His pearl was glowing and being tossed around, tapping into the sides like it was trying to break the container altogether. Whoever was looking for him was certainly impatient for him to pick up.

“Hello?” he said once he had calmed his Item down. It rolled into a curve, and stayed put.

“Hi sweetheart, meet me at the usual in ten minutes, ok? Love you, bye, kiss kiss.”

“It’s Milton.” By that time, Thom had already hung up, leaving Milton alone to shout at a jar. He put it down, and then took his coat out from under the duvet. He didn’t know how he was going to get out without flashing it; it was at times like this that Milton wished Humphrey would pick up Matthew’s horns, not realising they were his Item, and find out about his true identity. It would make his life easier, for a start.

He opened the door and, seeing as both Matthew and Humphrey were sitting down in the living room, he shoved his coat down the back of his shirt, and he sidestepped out. Both men turned to look at him, but Milton ignored them and continued as if nothing was odd.

“I need to go, I’ll see you later,” he said. He didn’t wait for them to react, or say goodbye to him; he had taken several strides to ensure he got to the door as soon as possible, and when he stepped out, he slammed the front door shut and ran down the stairs.

***

Milton had been expecting Thom to already be there when he arrived ten minutes later, and as he touched the ground again while putting on his coat, he was surprised to see Miles instead, and vice versa it seemed.

“Hello,” said Miles. Milton thought he looked unusually smart, even for a meeting with his leader. His blouse had been ironed to perfection, and Milton was struggling to find any creases in his buttoned up waistcoat. Even his jeans looked new. The only item that ruined his appearance was his belt; a silver chain no longer than a foot had been wrapped around the side. “Thom never told me you were coming as well.”

“Hello. I wasn’t expecting you to be here either,” said Milton. “Did Tuck tell you why we’re meeting?”

“No. He told me he wanted to see me again. Why do you think I’m dressed like this?” Miles halted as well as Milton, also caught out by his own tone. “Sorry, I didn’t mean … oh, never mind.”

“…Have you been trying to see him?”

“Yes. I don’t see him for about a week or so, and he goes and nearly dies from a bloody fire. He should have told me straight away what had happened, but I had to get the news off David.”

“David?”

Miles sighed. “I’ve said too much, haven’t I? I meant Reed.”

Milton paused. “I didn’t know you …”

“Well, you do now.”

Milton wanted to pry further into the matter, but before he could say anything, Thom jumped onto Miles’ back, hugging him tightly round the shoulders. Miles stumbled forwards, and almost tripped; nonetheless, he seemed pleased to see his leader, and he stayed still long enough to let him get off, face him directly, and peck him on his lips.

Milton coughed, though it came more as a reaction; as much as he respected and liked Miles, he hadn’t expected him to be that accepting to Thom’s advances. In contrast, when Thom approached him, he retreated, although once again he wasn’t fast enough to avoid a hug and a protracted kiss on his cheek.

“I knew you’d come, sweetheart,” said Thom as he let go.

“It’s Milton. Don’t sound surprised, Tuck, you know I had to,” said Milton. “I’m glad you’ve recovered.”

“Thanks sweetheart.”

“Milton.” He had barely finished when he noticed that Thom was now standing next to Miles, one arm hugging his waist.

“Don’t ask,” said Miles. He appeared to be faintly embarrassed, but not enough to make him tense. If anything, he seemed to be even more relaxed now that Thom was here.

“Anyway, Tuck, what did you want to see me for?”

“Do you remember the trapdoor, sweetheart?”

“Milton. Yes, I do.”

“Do you happen to have a ladybird infestation in your house?”

“… How did you …?”

“I’ve got one as well, but mine was huge – to put it this way, I’ve been spending the last two hours tipping ashes into the bin.”

“What’s this got to do with the –”

“The nest ate into the wood of the trapdoor, so I suspect it’s down there.”

“You want to get rid of it, don’t you? Why call me though?”

“I need help from Matthew and my David. Before you ask, sweetheart –”

“Milton.”

“– Jason’s gone on holiday, and Ingrid’s in the middle of filming with Lorna, so unless your members are busy, I’m going to have to borrow them for a bit.”

“I don’t know about David, but Matthew … he’s round ours at the moment. Let’s just say he’s not going to like this call … at all.”


	2. Chapter 2

When Milton returned to the flat, he only had to catch a glimpse of Matthew to reconsider whether he should make the call to him or not. He didn’t want his member suffering any more, not when his face had turned pallid and seemed incapable of doing much. His conscience won him over, and when he picked up his jar, he decided to spare him.

“Meet me at the usual in ten … no, twenty minutes,” said Milton once he had found David’s Item.

With that out of the way, it was just a matter of rescuing Matthew. Milton didn’t bother to try and smuggle his coat out again; instead, he left it hanging in Humphrey’s wardrobe. When he stepped out, he saw Matthew holding his head, his outline shaking. If he didn’t get him out now, he really was going to be in danger of passing out in front of them.

“Matthew, are you sure you’re alright?” he said as he approached him. Without giving him a chance to answer, he continued. “I can give you a lift back, if you want, I need to go to the shops anyway.”

Humphrey looked up at Milton, and vice versa; he wanted to interject, but he knew that look Milton was giving him, and he kept quiet. Matthew lifted his head slightly, also alert.

“Yeah, I think … that would be better. Thanks Milton.”

“No problem.” He stepped back as Humphrey hugged Matthew, and then escorted his member out.

From thereon, events were a lot more straightforward; Milton piggy backed Matthew before they took off, although the former had to be careful how high they went. He really didn’t fancy Matthew passing out any time soon, and the thinning altitude wouldn’t help, but there was that usual risk of being seen by a stranger. To solve that problem, Milton was forced to take detours away from crowded streets, and with Matthew mumbling instructions in his ear, they were on track to getting back as soon as possible.

“You live here?” said Milton when they arrived, albeit floating at roof-level. He had wondered where Matthew was taking him when they had started going through a forest (though this one was on the other side of London, away from the one they usually met in), and even though they were outside a tree house, it didn’t seem to answer his curiosity.

“Yeah … can we …?”

“Sorry.” Milton flew around the building, found the front door, and landed inside. The main room was effectively the kitchen, living room and bedroom, and the only other room was, most likely, the toilet.

Matthew’s horns were placed on the coffee table, which were about three strides away from the door. He didn’t need to reach very far to touch them, and when he did, he relaxed, relieved; he was still on Milton’s back, and he flopped forwards, acting like dead weight. Milton bowed lower as a result, and he decided to drop Matthew off on the bed before he too collapsed.

“Thanks Milton,” said Matthew. He was lying on his bed, his arms out either side of him. “I wish you won’t do that again.”

“You could have turned around,” said Milton as he also joined Matthew, although he decided to just sitting on the edge.

“I wanted to see Humphrey though, I do miss him. Anyway, your place is better than here.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t have anywhere else to go, unlike you. You’ve got the safe house to fall back on. What do we get? Nothing. I only got this place because Tom and Ben built it for me.”

Now that Matthew mentioned it, Milton could start to see traces of their work; every now and then, nails would shine out of the wood in odd places, and it would certainly explain the hinges and doorknobs. There weren’t proper windows either, but a square hole with a curtain on one side, and a mosquito net on the other.

Milton hadn’t thought about how his members were doing, particularly if they had no masters; as far as he was aware, Justin, Lucy, David M, Tim, himself, The Boy, and Chris had masters. Everyone else – Lorna, Matthew, Tom, Ben, and David R – were free.

“That’s why you keep coming over,” said Milton after a pause.

“That, and Humphrey.”

“It’s not too bad here. At least you can get some peace at night. My master can somehow make the place dirty beyond belief in a day, and I have to keep the place spotless.”

“I definitely don’t miss doing that.”

Pause. “How are your wounds doing?”

Matthew sat up, pulled back his sleeves, and loosened his tie to pull down his collar; compared to last time, they were healing well. All of the scabs had settled, and some had fallen off; most of his cuts, rashes and scrapes had healed, and the majority of the teeth marks had gone. It certainly didn’t look as painful as last time.

“Healing,” said Matthew. “I’m going to wait for them to disappear first, and then I might find another master.” Pause. “You know, I kind of wish I could get Humphrey.”

Milton was about to cry out that he couldn’t, but he stopped in time and said instead, “If you did, you would have to sleep on the sofa. My room’s not even … you know, a bedroom. It was, erm, an office before Humphrey, er, had to convert it.”

“I know, I noticed. Anyway, I think he’s already got one, hasn’t he?”

“Yeah, he does.” Seeing as they were getting too close to disclosing certain information, Milton added, “Anyway, are you alright to, erm, travel again?”

“I think so,” said Matthew as he pulled his sleeves down and tightened his tie again. “Promise me one thing, OK? Please don’t do that again.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t,” said Milton as he stood up.

“I haven’t sorted your ladybird problem yet.”

“That doesn’t matter now. I’ve got a new task for you. I’ll tell you when we’re going there.”

As Milton cradled Matthew through the air, he filled him in on Thom’s request, before elaborating about the trapdoor. Matthew was just as surprised when he had finished, although what he said next was lost as Milton landed again. He had been expecting Thom and Miles to be present too, but David was the only person there.

“Where’s Tuck and Miles?” said Milton once Matthew had got off him and steadied himself out.

“Don’t know,” said David. “You never told me they were –”

“Didn’t I?” Milton wasn’t going to bother arguing about whether he actually did or not, and seeing as Thom and Miles hadn’t turned up yet, he took the time to explain to David what his request was. By the time he had finished, he continued to glance around the place, yet nobody continued to turn up.

Milton was starting to suspect that something wasn’t _quite_ right; Thom would never be that irresponsible, particularly when it was him who made the request. Not to mention Miles would have to be with him; he wouldn’t want to show up his own Clan member, would he?

As usual, though, Milton’s predictions were spot on; he had barely taken his eyes off David when he heard him yell and fall over. When he turned to look at him, Thom had leapt out of nowhere and tackled him to the ground, hugging him like he wouldn’t have another chance to. Milton lifted his head, not wanting to see them get it on with each other; as he did so, he saw Miles lingering back, arms folded, his eyes dropped and staring at Thom and David.

There was something about his look that was disquieting Milton; he didn’t want to go as far as calling it jealousy, but there didn’t seem to be another word for it. He didn’t want to get involved, but if this was related to David, he had a feeling he was going to have to go against his wishes.

“You took your time,” said Milton when Thom had got up again.

“Sorry sweetheart –”

“Milton.”

“– I had other Clan issues to deal with first.” When Thom finished, he jumped at Milton and, catching him around the neck, kissed him somewhat too fondly on the cheek, all of which ended only when Milton had managed to break his grip. Thom then turned to Matthew, arms open, and ran at him with speed so that he couldn’t avoid him.

“ _No_ – not on me – get off – stop –” Matthew was struggling much more than Milton had done, although that was probably due to the fact that Thom had both hugged him around his chest, thus pinning his arms to his side, and picked him up at the same time, raising him about an inch or two off the ground. Nonetheless he was doing a good job to avoid being kissed anywhere on his face, although he had to give in when Thom went for his neck instead.

“Get off him, Thom,” said David. He was patting off any dust from the front of his clothes, and he didn’t appear to notice Miles, who by now had joined them, albeit with hardly any fuss. Milton smiled at him, and he nodded in return, although his expression didn’t lighten.

“Alright, whatever you say.” Thom lowered Matthew onto the ground again, and then returned to David’s side. There, he held onto his hand, and turned to Milton. “So, sweetheart –”

“Milton.”

“– Have you told them about the lady –?”

“Yes.” Pause. Thom was probably waiting for him to elaborate, but Milton didn’t fancy saying any more. It was difficult trying to keep his eyes away from Miles, although it would have been made easier if he hadn’t persisted in looking darkly at Thom and David.

“Are you alright, sweetheart? You’re really quiet today.”

“I’m _fine_ , Tuck, now can you stop calling me sweetheart and get on with it?” Milton didn’t mean to sound that shirty, or stun everyone else into silence, but he wasn’t in the mood to tolerate Thom in any way.

“…Alright, Milt, whatever you want.”


	3. Chapter 3

Milton had been expecting the ladybird infestation to be prominent, but it wasn’t until Thom and Miles pulled open the trapdoor did the full problem become clear. Despite having been recently fixed, the insects had eaten into the wood, and thus most of the rotting floorboards had collapsed in, and the occasional ladybird was crawling along the side of the tunnel, although it seemed that the main nest was further down. Nonetheless, the rungs looked clean enough to climb down.

Thom shut the door again and moved out of the way for Miles, whose palms were glowing brown. He lightly touched the wood with his fingertips, and, like Tom had done several weeks ago, began to repair the broken parts.

Thom turned to Milton. “Well, sweetheart –”

“Milton.”

“– the nest’s in there.”

“Can you be more specific?”

“No. I haven’t climbed in yet.”

“How come?”

“I’m not going down there. I’d rather have to deal with a dead rat than … that. Anyway, we can’t go in without crawling, and I’m _not_ prepared to cru – argh.” Thom toppled over as a ladybird flew at his nose, followed by him clicking his fingers and a flash of flames; when it was over, the insect had disappeared, although Milton thought that Thom’s sleeve had darkened somewhat.

“As you were saying?”

“The point is, sweetheart –”

“Milton.”

“– I need David to poison the nest first, and then get Matthew to fill it up with water.”

“What about me?”

“I don’t need you at all, sweetheart –”

“Milton.”

“– other than keeping an eye on your members. Well, I guess you _could_ help keep any bugs back if they try to escape from the poison and or water.”

Milton paused. “What about you?”

“I’m not doing anything either – well, apart from making sure you don’t trash the place.”

“I doubt it.”

“Anyway, it looks like Miles’ nearly done, so why don’t we get started? Unless you have anything else to say?”

“No, except for hurry up and get on with it.”

Thom lurched, although he missed mainly due to Milton moving away faster than he had anticipated. As he pushed himself up, he said, “Whatever you want, sweetheart.”

“Milton.”

Miles straightened and stood back, glancing at his handiwork. Compared to Tom, his floorboards had a more polished, finished look about them; the edges were rounder, and it was harder to spot any splinters. It was expected for variations to occur between Valets with the same power anyway; for instance, it was one of Milton’s quirks to be able to make a short gust by clicking his fingers, and yet it was an ability which was lost on everyone else.

Thom got to his feet and grabbed the ring; Miles joined him, and together they opened the trapdoor again. At once, several ladybirds flew out, accompanied by yelps from Thom. Milton eyed and swiped two of them, using his fingertips to crush them against his palm; he winced at the idea of having to wash them off and, wishing he hadn’t been as hasty, with his other hand, he used his powers to push them into the tunnel again.

“That … was brave of you, sweetheart.”

“Milton. Don’t look at me like that, Tuck, I didn’t mean to … never mind.”

“…Whatever. David, if you could start poisoning them…” Thom handed David a torch, and watched him climb down. “What’s it like in there?”

“I think it’s OK,” said David. By now, he was about half way down. “I haven’t had anything fly in my face yet, and I don’t think I’ve killed anything either.”

They didn’t hear anything else from David again for a while; Milton, along with Matthew, remained sitting by the entrance, keeping an eye out in case anything _did_ happen. A silence followed, during which Milton was so focused he hadn’t realised how quiet it had gone. When he looked up, he started; he was now facing an empty room, with no sign of Thom or Miles at all.

“Matthew, did you see Tuck and Miles leave?”

“No. Why?” Matthew also looked up, although his only reaction was to readjust his glasses. “Ah.”

Milton didn’t want to believe his suspicions, but it wasn’t like Thom to ignore him at all. Compared to the last time they had waited for David, Thom’s behaviour was anything but normal, and as much as Milton wanted to be left alone by him, he didn’t want it to happen like this. He was probably overthinking the situation, but he was struggling to find anything logical that would support the counterargument. 

“Milton? Are you alright?”

“…I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? You don’t look well.”

“Thanks, but I’m _fine_.”

“OK. I thought you would have liked it now that Thom’s gone.”

Milton kept quiet; he was considering asking Matthew to keep an eye out while he went to find where Thom and Miles had gone, but that would mean abandoning his duties. He couldn’t do it, not even if it concerned one of his members; after all, it was a more personal matter, and he doubted that Thom would be too pleased if he took it into his own hands. Begrudgingly, he looked down the tunnel again, his jaw propped on his fist, and waited for David to re-emerge.

What surprised Milton though were Thom and Miles tiptoeing back in several minutes later. Thom caught the other leader looking at him, and he gave a half-arsed apologetic grin; Milton folded his arms and continued to stare. Miles sat down by the trapdoor again, but Thom kneeled down on the other side of Milton.

“What?” said Milton as he turned his head to look at Thom. He wished he hadn’t done that; he flinched in time to avoid a kiss to his lips.

“You look rather upset, sweetheart.”

“Milton. Stop it Tuck, I don’t need you hugging me.”

“Really? I –”

“I _said_ get off me.”

Milton thrust his glowing palm at Thom’s chest, touching him first before pushing him back with his powers which threw the other leader at the wall. He landed inches away, but remained stumped on the ground for some time. Miles ran over to help, but Matthew remained seated, his hands trembling.

“Thom, are you alright?” said Miles.

Thom didn’t say anything, but grabbed Miles’ arm as support and staggered to his feet. He was rubbing his chest, his back turned to Milton; the latter wanted to approach him, but he knew there wasn’t an easy way out of what could have been a fatal attack. He wanted David to appear again – anything to ease the tension away.

Miles threw him a look which made him feel guiltier. He couldn’t guess what Thom would do next, but he was hoping that it wouldn’t be an attempt to cremate him. 

“Milton? Thom?”

Milton relaxed as he watched David climb out of the tunnel; Thom turned around, caught his boyfriend’s eye, and then ran out of the room. David looked at the remaining Valets, but none of them were willing to give him an explanation, or even look at him.

Milton kept his glare on the ground as he spoke. “Did you, erm … you know, poison … them …?”

“Yeah … but I don’t think it … it worked …” said David as he retreated. He didn’t know what else to say, and he too left the room, chasing after Thom.

“So … do you want me to …” said Matthew as he looked up, but not before a pause had occurred.

“Yeah … yeah …”

Milton didn’t really know what he was saying, but nonetheless, he moved away as Matthew shuffled closer to the trapdoor. He placed both arms into the tunnel, and started to fill it up with water.

Miles approached Milton and held out a hand, to which the latter took it. He got onto his feet and followed him to the other side of the room. He wanted to hear what Miles had to say – he tried to avoid thinking any more questions, but the situation was becoming increasingly suspicious, and he had a feeling Miles could give him some answers.


	4. Chapter 4

Despite pulling him aside, Miles didn’t say anything for a while, although Milton didn’t mind the silence. He was still wondering why he had been so stupid and attacked Thom like that; it wasn’t his problem, he should have left it to David to resolve for himself. Maybe he was too attached to his Clan; he had thought that, after twelve years of being the leader, most of his bad habits had been corrected, but it seemed that losing his temper was still there.

“Aren’t you going to say something?” said Milton.

Miles folded his arms. “I was waiting for you to start.”

“What do you want _me_ to say?”

“I thought it would have been obvious.”

“If you’re after an explanation –”

“I am.”

“– I can’t give one.”

“I don’t believe you. Come on, Milton, I may not have worked alongside you many times, but even I can tell you wouldn’t attack without good reason.”

“…You really want to know?”

“Yes.”

Milton paused. He didn’t know whether to be honest or not; he didn’t want to accuse Miles in case he really _had_ overthought the situation, but if it turned out to be true, how was he going to face David?

“It’s about me, isn’t it?”

Milton started at the mention. “How did you –?”

“I’ll be honest with you, even I found Thom’s behaviour less than subtle. You _can_ say whatever you want, you know, I won’t be offended.”

“So … you’re saying you’re having an …an affair with –”

“Of course not. Thom’s not serious with _me_ , he’s got David. He’s only having a bit of fun, but I agree, it has been getting out of hand recently.”

“What do you mean, a bit of fun?”

“He’s not being serious whenever he kisses me. Seeing as he can’t meet David all the time, he flirts with me.”

“Why did he pick you?”

“Excluding everyone who’s been taken, that just leaves me and Ingrid. He did try to get off with her, but she threatened to poison and rip him apart, and when you’ve seen her fangs, you really don’t want to go near her.”

Pause. “Right.” Despite Miles’ seemingly relaxed nature, Milton still wasn’t comfortable looking him in the eye. If anything, he wasn’t certain that Miles was clearing up the situation – he sensed he was trying to hide it.

“Look, there’s no need to worry, OK?”

Milton couldn’t argue with him, but he held his reservations and said, “Thanks, Miles. I just didn’t think you would, you know, be willing to play along with Tuck.”

“I was there when he broke his contract from his first master. My father was still leader then, but I was told to look after Thom.”

Milton looked at Miles, startled. He _knew_ about Humphrey and Thom? “What … what was it like?”

“Awful. It gave my father nightmares for a while. Thom was the future leader, and he was … well, breaking down all the time.”

“Did he tell you what happened?”

“After a little coercing, he did. Wait, why are _you_ interested?”

Milton hesitated; he couldn’t tell Miles about Humphrey, or even drop hints about him. “I … nothing, I was just wondering … that’s all.”

“Well, you seem to know quite a bit already.”

“…David sort of told me by mistake.” Milton had a feeling that Miles was going to check later, and he hoped that David had enough common sense to cover up for him.

“Oh. Right.”

Milton glanced towards Matthew and, using the excuse that he thought he was nearly done, hurried over to him. As it turned out, he was right; he glanced into the tunnel, and watched the water stop just before it reached the metal entrance. Already, there were several bodies bobbing on the surface.

Matthew didn’t say anything as the glow on his palm stopped; while he did so, Milton helped Miles shut the trapdoor, although neither Valet looked at each other in the eye. Matthew sighed and stretched, and then stumbled backwards.

“Are you alright?” said Milton as he rushed over.

“I’m … I’m fine, just a bit tired,” said Matthew. He refused any help from Milton as he steadied himself. “Where’re Thom and David?”

“Here,” said David as he came back in, followed by Thom. Neither of them seemed any happier, and Milton could sense Miles glaring at his leader.

“Thanks Milt,” said Thom, although he wasn’t looking at Milton. “Matthew, are you sure you don’t need to rest?”

“I’ll be alright,” said Matthew.

“I can give you a lift back,” said Milton as he touched Matthew’s horns.

“If you’re sure, thanks Milton.”

Milton approached David, brushing past Thom on his way; he sensed the younger leader glare at him, and he decided to ignore him. Seeing how Thom was in an irrational state of mind, Milton would rather ignore him than try and talk some sense into him.

Milton tapped David’s collar just as Thom brushed Miles’ chain. Their goodbyes were rather subdue, and Milton wasted no time in leaving early with Matthew. He had wanted to talk to David, but judging by his member’s movements, he decided to let it go. Instead, he had been hoping for his journey back to Matthew’s to be more uplifting, but it turned out to be nothing more than silence.

“Thanks Milton,” said Matthew when they were back at the tree house. Pause. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Thanks, but … don’t ask, OK? It’s too complicated.”

“OK. I’ll, er, see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see you.”

Milton twisted round as he flew again, now heading back for the flat with a speed and carelessness that he rarely displayed. He knew he shouldn’t have flown lower than usual, but now that Matthew was gone, he didn’t want to hold it inside anymore. He knew he still had a nest to sort out, and, not forgetting that their tunnel entrance was a lot higher, that he would have to make sure none of the ladybirds tried to escape down their end.

He pulled up outside the living room window, and knocked/punched it. Humphrey opened it for him, although he did seem rather reluctant to do so. He was probably thrown by Milton’s temper, and he was right to be; Milton had barely stepped in when he ran over to the kitchen, opened that window, dislodged the nest and threw it out.

“Milton, are you –?”

“ _Don’t_ – ask –”

Humphrey raised his hands into the air as he backed away. He had never seen Milton in a mood _this_ bad, and he doubted that he could ask him another question without ending up on the floor with a broken body part.

“Sorry.”

Milton didn’t have the patience to keep on talking to him, and he was about to start stomping on the remaining ladybirds when he started to sense his Item. Someone was calling him, and he rushed to take it. It was fair to say a part of him was hoping it would be coming from Thom or David, but when he picked up the jar, he was somewhat disappointed to realise it came from Lee.

“Mack?” he said.

“Hi Jones, Jack’s asked me to tell you he wants to meet you.”

Milton’s heart skipped at the mention. “Did he say where?”

“No. He said to meet ‘in the usual place’ in fifteen minutes.”

“Thanks Mack, I know what he means.”

“I was hoping you would. Bye.”

“Bye.” Lee had barely hung up when Milton put down his Item, rushed out of the room and pushed the window open again. He would have jumped out straightaway if Humphrey hadn’t seen him at that point.

“What’s happened? Where are you going?” said Humphrey.

“I’ll be back in a while – got to meet – see you!”

“Milton –”

His Valet wasn’t listening, and Humphrey resigned to watching him leave in the distance. He was glad to see Milton happier, and as long as he didn’t come back in a mood that was equal or worse than earlier, he didn’t really mind where he went.

As for Milton, maybe today wasn’t going to be such a bad day after all.


End file.
